( ... she's pretty sure ena would yell at her for that, actually. but... )
... I used to tell myself that. And the more I did... the more bits of myself I let fall away because I thought time would fix it. But it didn't.
I won't tell you to act a way you don't like. But... I don't think that's something you have to worry about. Clamor-san is here. And... I don't want to let you do that to yourself either.
[He scratches the back of his head, looking more agitated now, somehow. It helps to have someone tell him it's okay. Even if he doesn't really want to think about it.]
...I have this thing. From Harque. It's a moonstone, and it's enchanted so that... if I were to die, ever, the timeline would rewind and I'd be alive again. [This tag will not touch on how Harque was a little unhinged.] It... worked, but it didn't take me back far enough. It just rewound time by a few seconds, and I was still underwater, and it didn't... uh.
...it didn't... rewind time again. So. I guess I'm a little freaked out by drowning twice in a row. Technically. And the fact that the moonstone didn't work.
( that's a normal and rational thing to give to your little brother, yeah. makes perfect sense to her.
but... she absolutely can see why that'd be so rattling. drowning once is bad enough, she's sure- but twice?
... how many times has noah died, and known it...? )
I won't say I understand, because I don't. I can't. ... But I can see why you would feel that way.
( mafuyu pauses, visibly trying to work through what she wants to say- this is hard. she's already bad at feelings, she doesn't know how to comfort others... but what can be said about this sort of thing? )
[Technically his death count is only like... 4 in his lifetime so far. Until I do what I did to him in Yogen and then—]
It's... ["Okay", but it's not, and she'd probably be mad at him if he said it was. Noah awkwardly casts his gaze skyward, then down at the ground, at the tips of his shoes. Pristine and showing no signs of hands having dragged him under, no water damage, nothing. It's like he didn't even die at all.] ...I'm used to dying. Kind of. So don't worry about me.
I mean, without the second chances Harque granted me, I would've died at fifteen and never gotten to see the world, or meet Clamor, or... even be here, really.
[Which is not entirely the point, but Noah's deflecting. Of course he is.]
At least I still get somewhat of a second chance here. I don't know what brought me back, but it wasn't the moonstone.
It's not that I'm not grateful that you're here. ... That's the opposite, I think. But I don't like that you had to hurt like that.
( the two can coexist. but... she's not used to being able to clearly tell she does or doesn't like something. or... gratefulness. that's new, too. or at least unfamiliar. but... hm. )
... I hope we don't have to find out what the hard way.
But... hey. We know we come back when we die now, but that always happens to me. You, though, and everyone else? Don't you dare go dying. Okay? I'll be mad if you do.
Thanks. Let's... let's try to make it out of here in one piece. Or, if we have to, live the rest of our lives here in peace? ...I'd kind of prefer to go home, though.
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( ... she's pretty sure ena would yell at her for that, actually. but... )
... I used to tell myself that. And the more I did... the more bits of myself I let fall away because I thought time would fix it. But it didn't.
I won't tell you to act a way you don't like. But... I don't think that's something you have to worry about. Clamor-san is here. And... I don't want to let you do that to yourself either.
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[He scratches the back of his head, looking more agitated now, somehow. It helps to have someone tell him it's okay. Even if he doesn't really want to think about it.]
...I have this thing. From Harque. It's a moonstone, and it's enchanted so that... if I were to die, ever, the timeline would rewind and I'd be alive again. [This tag will not touch on how Harque was a little unhinged.] It... worked, but it didn't take me back far enough. It just rewound time by a few seconds, and I was still underwater, and it didn't... uh.
...it didn't... rewind time again. So. I guess I'm a little freaked out by drowning twice in a row. Technically. And the fact that the moonstone didn't work.
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but... she absolutely can see why that'd be so rattling. drowning once is bad enough, she's sure- but twice?
... how many times has noah died, and known it...? )
I won't say I understand, because I don't. I can't. ... But I can see why you would feel that way.
( mafuyu pauses, visibly trying to work through what she wants to say- this is hard. she's already bad at feelings, she doesn't know how to comfort others... but what can be said about this sort of thing? )
... I'm sorry.
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It's... ["Okay", but it's not, and she'd probably be mad at him if he said it was. Noah awkwardly casts his gaze skyward, then down at the ground, at the tips of his shoes. Pristine and showing no signs of hands having dragged him under, no water damage, nothing. It's like he didn't even die at all.] ...I'm used to dying. Kind of. So don't worry about me.
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( even she knows that.
she's... glad he's alive with them. that he's come back enough times for her to meet him, even if she hates where. but hearing that hurts. )
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[Which is not entirely the point, but Noah's deflecting. Of course he is.]
At least I still get somewhat of a second chance here. I don't know what brought me back, but it wasn't the moonstone.
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( the two can coexist. but... she's not used to being able to clearly tell she does or doesn't like something. or... gratefulness. that's new, too. or at least unfamiliar. but... hm. )
... I hope we don't have to find out what the hard way.
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[But knowing Noah's track record, it'll happen anyway.]
But... hey. We know we come back when we die now, but that always happens to me. You, though, and everyone else? Don't you dare go dying. Okay? I'll be mad if you do.
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( or she'll try, anyways.
not a promise she thought she'd ever make, honestly. but for kanade and noah... )
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