( you're supposed to have your own dreams, and not have them be overwritten by your parents. for the first time in her life, something clicks. and when she speaks, her voice wavers. )
... That... is what happened, isn't it? I wanted- I wanted to be a nurse and that wasn't good enough for them...
[Noah sets his pumpkin down, and then steals hers away too for a moment to move it safely to the ground. Then, he leans in for a side-hug, awkward but meaningful all the same. It feels like the correct thing to do.]
Yeah, that's... what I mean. You should follow your dreams. Don't give up on them.
( no her physical support- yes mafuyu does fall forward a little and almost hits the table it's propped on. it might be funny if she wasn't about to cry. if the first hug, however awkward and not entirely a hug it may be, she's gotten in years didn't break the dam completely.
hiding her face in her hands, her shoulders hitch in quiet sobs. )
( mafuyu listens, takes everything in- the comforting touch she hasn't felt in so long, his words... why is it that she's only getting these explicit comforts and reassurances in this hell?
when she tries to speak, nothing comes out. so for a little bit, she'll just cling to noah and cry.
even if she thinks she kind of hates that, actually? )
( maybe it would have but a bitch is still touch-starved and being fed. ... and has been awakened to the fact that she needs hugs. you will be giving her more. this is not optional.
eventually, those painful sobs die down to quiet hiccups, and her throat hurts again. her head, too. her eyes always sting after crying... people say that crying helps release the pain, that you'll feel better afterwards. she's not sure if she believes it. )
... Do you think your brother could have escaped that life...?
He wanted the best for me, [Noah backpedals,] and to him, maybe that was through becoming a Master.
Or maybe, he just wanted to become a Master to escape. Masters are supposed to cut ties with their families, from what I'm told. He might have seen that as a way out, but I don't... I don't know.
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... That... is what happened, isn't it? I wanted- I wanted to be a nurse and that wasn't good enough for them...
( why is her vision blurring...? )
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Yeah, that's... what I mean. You should follow your dreams. Don't give up on them.
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hiding her face in her hands, her shoulders hitch in quiet sobs. )
I- I don't know what I want a-anymore...
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You don't have to know right now! They say life is a journey, and that Fate takes you where you need to go. I just...
I just think you don't need to follow someone else's dreams. That's all.
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when she tries to speak, nothing comes out. so for a little bit, she'll just cling to noah and cry.
even if she thinks she kind of hates that, actually? )
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Honestly, he doesn't mind. He used to be
still kind of isa crybaby. Like, throw that toxic masculinity shit out, this man cries all the time.Maybe it would've been better if he gave her a real hug, and not a weird side hug, though.]
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eventually, those painful sobs die down to quiet hiccups, and her throat hurts again. her head, too. her eyes always sting after crying... people say that crying helps release the pain, that you'll feel better afterwards. she's not sure if she believes it. )
... Do you think your brother could have escaped that life...?
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[Er— uh—]
He wanted the best for me, [Noah backpedals,] and to him, maybe that was through becoming a Master.
Or maybe, he just wanted to become a Master to escape. Masters are supposed to cut ties with their families, from what I'm told. He might have seen that as a way out, but I don't... I don't know.
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( this is something even she can see, just from how noah talks about him. )
... You don't have to know. I don't know why I asked.
( yes she does. but she doesn't know if she'll believe any answer if she asks, 'do you think i can escape'. )